The anatomy of an Abrahamic calling - Excerpt from our soon-to-be-released book, Marriage on Mission

I completed the draft of our book, Marriage on Mission while flying home from Detroit today!  (The crowd goes wild!)

Sandi is writing a response between each chapter, and she hopes to finish soon.  Lord willing, the book will be available before Christmas.

I chose this excerpt from the final chapter because so many leaders I coach are entering a new, untested season.  Like Abraham, they are leaving the known and familiar for a foreign land, one that will be shown to them along the way.  

There are no maps.  There are no guarantees.  

But, there are promises.  And, there is a guide.

From Marriage on Mission, chapter 8:

What does the next chapter of our story look like?  To be honest, God has not revealed that to us yet.  Will we continue living in Pawleys Island after our youngest graduates high school?  Will we someday serve on the staff of a local church again?  Will I finally hit my growth spurt and reach 5’9” before I turn 50? 

We simply do not know (except for that last one!). 

We don’t know yet because God has placed a certain kind of call on our lives.  We are experiencing an Abrahamic calling, not a Mosaic calling.

What’s the difference?

When God called Abraham in Genesis 12:1 – 3 he said:

“Go from you country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.  I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

Here’s what we read about God calling Moses in Exodus 3:7 – 10:

“I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt…So now, go.  I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.”

We observe:

·      Abraham was told to leave Harran and begin a journey without a specific destination in mind.  God promised to show him along the way.  (He knew his general destination was Canaan, but God was short on specifics.)

·      Abraham was promised territory, blessing, his name to be made great, his descendants to form a nation, and to become the instrument of blessing to everyone on earth.

·      Moses was immediately given a specific destination and mission.  His assignment?  Go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to release the Israelites and lead them out of the country.

·      God promised to be with Moses.  God also promised that Moses and the Israelites would worship him on the same mountain where the burning bush encounter took place.  (In other words, God promised that the mission would be successful.)

These patriarchs are a study in contrasts: Abraham starts packing his bags while Moses starts making excuses.  The reasons Moses gave God for NOT going to Egypt and chatting with Pharaoh?

1.     Who am I?  Can’t you send someone important?

2.     I don’t even know your name – what if they ask who sent me?

3.     What if they don’t believe me?

4.     I am not good at speaking in front of groups.

5.     Can’t you send someone else?  Anyone?  Pretty please?

Moses became the leader of millions because everyone else in line took one step backwards and he never got the text! 

No, he didn’t want to lead.  He tried leading as a younger man, and it was a disaster.  He simply wanted to wander the backside of the dessert caring for his father-in-law's sheep. 

But, God intervened.  God pursued him.  Is God intervening in your life?  Do you feel pursued?  If so, turn towards him.  Embrace him.  Not only does he have something for you to do, he has someone for you to become along the way.  Want to grow into the best possible husband or wife?  Submit to God’s will and ways and become that person!

A few reflections that are helping us navigate the road before us:

First, both are legitimate calls of God.  Moses was reluctant, filled with doubt and fear, and totally unqualified in his own mind.  God answered every one of Moses’ objections, made provision for him by giving him a staff that morphs into a snake and by sending his brother Aaron to stand with him and communicate to Pharaoh.  There are instances when God lays it out for us and explains on the front end what he intends to do and how he intends to do it.  He patiently answers our questions and leads us, step by step, into accomplishing his will.  Whatever we need he supplies and whatever he supplies is always enough.

Abraham, on the other hand, had a different experience.  His calling was oblique.  He was told to leave home and embark on a one-way journey, but several important details were missing.  In other words, God left gaps in the revelation.  These “God-Gaps” mean that we lack the resources within ourselves to complete the mission and guarantee that if God doesn’t show up and fill those gaps we are doomed to failure.  (Moses encountered several God-Gaps as well, but they were not as directional in nature.)

Although Abraham’s calling was more of a “just-in-time” arrangement, the promises he received were very specific and deeply profound.  It was the promise of millions of descendants that captured his heart and imagination.  He was an old man with no children, desperate for an heir.  If God could make good on this promise leaving home without a GPS would be a small price to pay.

Sandi and I are getting our marching orders from God these days on a “need-to-know” basis.  We feel like Israel in the wilderness.  We get up each morning, look out of our tent to see if the pillar of cloud stayed put overnight (to determine if we are staying or leaving), and walk outside to collect enough manna for that day.  We have no 5-year plan.  We do not know where we will be living in 19 months.  Our budget is more focused on daily bread than annual forecasts.  The marriage retreat we are hosting next month could lead to incredible opportunity or be a complete bust.  There is a moment-to-moment texture to our lives; we have climbed out so far on this faith limb there is no turning back.  When it eventually snaps we are trusting God to catch us in mid-air.

In this sense we are free.

We are free because we are doing our very best to seek God and his kingdom as our first priority.  And the promise he gives us in Matthew 6:33 says that as we do that he will meet all of our needs.  So, it’s really on him.  We need to be faithful with the day-to-day stuff he has asked us to do and trust Him to do all the heavy lifting.

Top 10 lessons we have learned about the UP, IN, and OUT lifestyle.

Today I want to share an excerpt with you from chapter 7 of our book, "Marriage On Mission". The following represents our top 10 learnings from the past two years as we seek to live UP, IN, and OUT as a couple. (If you missed my blogpost on this topic, be sure to check it out first.) 

Remember:

• UP is loving God and growing in our relationship with him (think about what Jesus taught in John 15 about abiding in the vine)
• IN is loving and serving his church (think the "one anothers" of the Bible and equipping believers for the work of the ministry)
• OUT is loving a lost world, one person at a time. (Think about Luke 15 and Jesus' stories of the lost coin, lost sheep, and lost son)

When it all comes together we model, make, and multiply missionary disciples and missionary churches!

1. Establish these patterns (UP, IN and OUT) and stay focused on them, but give yourself grace. There will be weeks when one of the kids is sick, when you have to travel for work, or when you are just too busy with other things that popped up. Don’t sweat it! Our goal is to hit 3 out of 4 times. So, if we hit 75% we feel great about it. If we dip to 50% or lower we make adjustments.
2. Be flexible, but stay stubborn. Tomorrow night is Tuesday but we are having a family from church over for dinner (normally that would be an IN focus for us, which should happen on Thursday night). So, we will do our UP as a family on Thursday this week. We are able to interchange Tuesday and Thursday nights (UP and IN respectively), but so far have been unsuccessful switching to another night of the week.
3. Be creative. I have joined our family for UP on speakerphone, and we have Skyped our oldest daughter into family meals. These are not ideal, but some connection is better than no connection.
4. There are certain seasons of the year that just don’t work well – like Christmas vacation, major holidays, and certain weeks during the summer. Rest up during these periods and come back strong next time. Remember, 3 out of 4 on average is the goal. (Also, be open to experimenting with something new. Try mixing it up from time to time when the normal rhythm is not workable.)
5. For our UP nights, I read a chapter of the Bible and then, without commentary, pass the Bible around the table. Each person talks about what stood out to them and why. Resist the temptation to preach a sermon! Keep your input brief, personal, and sincere. When possible, ask everyone to share a prayer request and to pray for someone else.
6. Prayer walking our neighborhood consistently is the key for us. We walk 3 or 4 days a week, sometimes more often (living in South Carolina helps!). Our secret? Smile, talk with those who smile back, and invite them to the next brunch (our monthly OUT focus in the neighborhood) if they seem open. Also, be sure to clean up your dog’s poo from their lawn – we want to be good news as we earn the opportunity to share the Good News. Seriously.
7. Look for other Christ followers in your neighborhood and ask them to join you. We are developing friendships with a few Christian families and I have asked some to partner with us. So far that just means come when you can, pray for your neighbors, and invite someone new to our next brunch.
8. Be very discerning about inviting people to church. We live in the south, so just about everybody will tell you they belong to this or that church. Some of them are faithfully worshipping and serving, others are not. Either way, if a church invitation comes too quickly your brunch (or whatever you do for OUT) can quickly turn into a recruiting conversation that turns people off. Focus on building a friendship first. Once you get to know each other better and they see your heart for God and people conversations about church naturally arise. Be patient, no one wants to feel like your project.
9. Set the dates for your OUTs early. Whatever you decide to do get it in the calendar so that you can talk to people about it and extend invitations. The old, “Let’s get together for dinner sometime” usually means, “I want you to like me and believe I care about you, but I am honestly too busy to invest time into a relationship with you”. That may sound harsh, but let’s call it what it is.
10. Pay special attention when people are under tension or experiencing transition. We recently brought a meal to our neighbors after a death in the family. A few months back we prayed for a man facing an amputation. This past year we have cut the grass for an older couple grappling with cancer. And just yesterday I mailed a card to the man who manages the restaurant our son works at who is recovering from neck surgery. These little touches mean so much to people under tension. Also, pay attention to new people moving into the neighborhood. A plate of cookies to a new neighbor can be the most spiritual thing you do all week!

Would love to hear what a few of you are learning!